In an ideal scenario, your parents would have devised a will and a comprehensive plan outlining the distribution of their assets after their passing.
However, the will might be incomplete or differ from the expectations of you and your siblings. In such cases, conflicts may arise when you and your siblings learn about the allocation of the inheritance.
It extends beyond financial matters. According to James Miller, a licensed psychotherapist and the host of the Lifeology radio show, “One of the most challenging aspects of dividing an inheritance is the emotional element.
When a parent passes away, each child will cope with their grief in their unique way.
Regrettably, this grief may manifest as resentment or hostility if someone disagrees with how the estate is distributed.
How Is Property Divided Among Siblings?
Inherited property is usually distributed according to the deceased person’s will, with assets going to heirs.
Parents can decide how to divide their assets among their children, either equally or with specific instructions in a letter of instruction.
Intestate Succession
Intestate succession rules differ by state but generally involve distributing the estate to the surviving spouse, domestic partner, and children.
If none exist, assets usually go to parents, grandchildren, or siblings of the deceased.
Check your state laws for specifics.
Reasons Siblings May Fight Over Inheritance
Despite a parent drafting a thorough and unambiguous will, dissatisfaction among their children regarding the distribution of assets is not uncommon.
Certain circumstances tend to provoke more tension than others. Effective communication plays a crucial role in the realm of estate planning.
Distribution of Inheritance
Siblings may fight over inheritance if they perceive an unfair distribution.
According to Emily Bouchard, a consultant at Ascent Private Capital Management, disputes often arise from unresolved feelings of favoritism.
She cited an example where a sibling, who managed a family business after the father’s stroke, faced resentment for perceived unequal distribution, even though the business was not their siblings’ involvement.
Surprises in the Will
If you don’t divide money equally among your children, provide clear explanations to avoid disputes.
Specify each child’s inheritance to prevent unnecessary arguments.
Misunderstandings can occur when promises are made to one child without informing others, leading to conflicts.
Additionally, siblings should communicate before claiming items promised to them individually.
Disagreements Over What To Do With Inherited Property
If you and your siblings jointly inherit land or a house from your parents, you might not agree on what to do with the property.
One person may want to sell it, and another might want to keep it.
The simplest solution is a buyout. One sibling can purchase the rest of the house from the others.
Tips for Handling Disagreements Among Siblings
With proper planning, parents can help head off inheritance disagreements among their children, but after a parent’s death, siblings will need to take steps to avoid or handle disputes themselves.
Have a Policy in Place
Establish a family inheritance conflict resolution policy within the estate plan to avoid challenges during periods of grief.
Drafted by a committee and approved by the entire family, this policy provides a standardized approach for resolving conflicts.
Seek Counseling
Bouchard said that when there is an argument over a family heirloom, it has more to do with unexpressed emotions from the past than money.
She recommended a family therapist get involved so that each sibling’s perspective is “respected and understood.”
Involve a Third Party
In emotionally charged situations, Miller advises removing emotions from decision-making, acknowledging challenges in achieving this due to differing perceptions of fairness.
Suggests involving a neutral third party like an attorney or mediation for a more cost-effective, private, and low-pressure resolution to estate matters.
Taking Sibling Disputes to Court
If you’ve tried and failed to resolve inheritance issues outside of court, a last-resort solution is contesting the will.
To do so, you’ll need to present a valid reason. A will cannot be contested simply because it is unfair or even cruel.
Valid reasons can include proving that the testator was unduly influenced or lacked the capacity to sign a will.
Contesting a will in court can be a time-consuming and costly process, so consider carefully whether it’s worth pursuing.
Also, keep in mind that once the will reaches probate, you may have limited time to contest it.
Read more: Guide to sibling inheritance laws
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What type of lawyer handles money and inheritance issues with siblings?
Hire an estate planning and/or trust and probate litigation attorney for resolving inheritance disputes with siblings.
Who issues an inheritance check?
After probate, the executor or court-appointed representative inventories assets, settles debts, and then distributes the inheritance to beneficiaries.
T Bag, J.D., LL.M. Professor of Law and Mediation Expert in Family and Siblings Property Disputes
Education:
- J.D., Conflict Resolution and Mediation, Harvard Law School
- LL.M., Estate Planning and Family Law, Yale Law School
Experience:
- Over 15 years of experience mediating complex family property disputes, including estate conflicts and business succession issues.
- Extensive background in facilitating negotiations between siblings and other family members to preserve relationships and family wealth.
- Recognized authority on the legal and psychological aspects of property disputes among family members.
Publications:
- “Mediating Family Property and Estate Conflicts: Keeping the Peace and Preserving Family Wealth” – A comprehensive guide on the advantages of mediation over litigation in family disputes.
- “Negotiating Principles of Entitlement in Sibling Property Disputes” – An analysis of entitlement principles applied in sibling conflicts over property.
Professional Affiliations:
- Member of the American Bar Association, Section of Dispute Resolution
- Fellow at the Center for the Study of Dispute Resolution, University of Missouri
Awards:
- Recipient of the Excellence in Mediation Award from the National Mediation Conference
- Honored with the Distinguished Mediator Award by the International Mediation Institute
Teaching:
- Professor of Law at the University of California, Berkeley, teaching courses on family law, estate planning, and conflict resolution.
- Guest lecturer at various law schools across the USA, sharing insights on mediating family property disputes.
Consulting:
- Provides expert consulting services to law firms and families on matters related to inheritance, property rights, and intergenerational wealth transfer.
- Advises on creating legal frameworks that minimize conflict and promote fair resolution in family property disputes.
Philosophy:
- Believes in the power of mediation to resolve conflicts while maintaining family harmony and protecting privacy.
- Advocates for creative and compassionate solutions that address the underlying emotional dynamics of family disputes.
Contact Information:
- Email: tbag@usamediationexpert.edu
- Office: Department of Law, University of California, Berkeley